Floating in the Ocean

July 10, 2016

All is not as I would have it be, here at Needle and Spindle.

As many of you know, I had pneumonia in April. It is normal to have a six to eight week recuperation period after such an illness before being able to resume a relatively normal life. This has not been the case for me and after a slew of doctors’ visits and medical tests, it looks like the fatigue and other symptoms I am experiencing are going to take a much longer time to resolve.  For a reason unknown to western medicine, some bugs produce an extended fatigue in some otherwise completely healthy people. A dice roll of sorts. Under medical advice, I have had to take leave from my studies until early next year.

IMG_3333It feels like there is an ocean of tiredness inside me. It fills up my legs and arms with watery weakness and laps around the edges of my brain. The smallest walks become arduous trudges and it is hard to think, plan or remember where I put my keys, my phone, my hat. Standing for long is tricky, hanging out the washing is a major achievement and vacuuming, a bridge too far.

Fortunately, it seems that my good Man can carry even the ocean on his strong shoulders and our children lug buckets of seawater much heavier than I could have thought possible. I am buoyed up by an excellent public healthcare system, a flotilla of practical and generous friends and by the kind thoughts and wishes of readers. There are much, much worse things to have, than the inconvenience of being really tired all the time. Nevertheless, this blog space will remain a rather simple space for the foreseeable future, I may not always manage to reply to comments and there may sometimes be longish gaps between posts.


So please, continue to bear with me gentle readers while I find the Magellan for this ocean and celebrate with me, my first sustained metaphor since April!

The photographs are of Port Philip Bay just inside The Heads at Point Lonsdale, the entrance to the Port of Melbourne from the Bass Strait which lies between the Indian Ocean and the Pacific Ocean. A special place.

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  1. Dear Rebecca

    How long the days of malaise must seem to you. How dear are your family who care for you so much…. I am sure that you will weave a way through the westward straits and when arrived turn and be amazed at what has been.

    With the best of wishes from the West.

    Lydia x

  2. Ugh! Sorry to hear you have been so unwell. Thinking of you and yours and hope you get much better soon. Mark & Stevie

  3. I am so sorry to hear, Rebecca – it must be so very difficult to live with continued ill-health. I wish you recovery – and small, easy gentle knits, the loving embrace of your family and friends – and more beautiful places like this. As it happens, I am reading a book about the discovery of Gippsland so my head is full of your beautiful Australian coastline – and loving these pics! Great metaphor 🙂

  4. Have a break, so sorry to hear about how you feel,eat well,rest when you need to.Try some of those nutribullets fruit mixes.We shall all be here when you are ready to come back.
    When the weather improves if you need a trip to the country be in touch

  5. I have these same symptoms. Has your doctor considered fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome? The specialist for these diseases are Rheumatologists.

  6. I’m sad to hear that this is lingering for you. I can imagine how exhausting, and frustrating, that must be for you, especially having to defer your studies. I’m glad you have a good clan keeping the ship afloat xx

    and I too am grateful for our public healthcare (and pray it remains untouched!)

  7. You express yourself so well in this description of your recovery. You are a gifted writer and thinker!!! I wish it was not such a difficult journey for you, as you seem too young for this to be happening. Your ocean views are tranquil and serene, which can be healing in itself – a great place to hang out. I don’t think any of us care about how far and few between your blogs or answers are. A post every once in a while is just fine. Take care . . .

  8. I am sad to hear you are in the doldrums Rebecca. A fair wind will come and in the meantime please congratulate yourself each time you get out of the hammock. Metaphor aside, I am thinking good things for you, Diana

  9. I’ve had pneumonia, twice. It’s dreadful. When you are well enough, get the pneumonia vaccine. It will offer some protection.

  10. Dear Rebecca! I am so sorry to hear that… I hope you regain strength soon and will be able to come back to all things you love so much. I am happy you have all the support you need. I wish I could help some way…

    Love, Alina.

  11. I too, of course!, wish you the very best and am pleased ‘they’ gave you permission to leave off your studies…’we’ would have done that in a heart beat 🙂 Must look up the book Kay is reading. more hugs to you and your family for all their excellent support!

  12. Dear Rebecca, I am so glad that you have your cherished man and those lovely Children and our public healthcare system beside you in these challenging times. Wishing you complete recovery and the equanimity to manage the ocean in the meantime, warmly, Mary

  13. One day at a time Rebecca. I think all of us (your readers) feel for you during this difficult time. Don’t feel the pressure to post, we’ll all be here when you’re back on your feet! Sending lots of warmth and healing energy, Nicola XXX

  14. Oh Rebecca, I’m so sorry to hear your recuperation is taking longer than normal. 3 cheers for your dear ones and friends surrounding with love and care. May the winds change the tide and have you back on shore building sand castles as soon as can be.

  15. so sorry! what can I send or knit to put a smile on your face? handspun? a shawl? pm with your wish

    sending all the good vibes your way! xoxo

  16. Just rest, rest and more rest my dearest (I know that’s easier said than done when you have children)
    I will miss your profound words.
    Until then, your enforced rest may allow the rest of us to catch up with you in producing as much craft as you normally do. If that makes sense 🙂

  17. Sorry you are so unwell! A person with as much enthusiasm for doing as you must be smacked so much harder than your average by such an illness. Rest up and use your good days and hopefully your health will return with the gusto of a high tide.

  18. Love the metaphor!!! just one day at a gentle time Rebecca. Thank goodness for your lovely husband, children, and friends. I think that all of your readers will be here when you feel up to more. Lots of rest and gentle crafting.
    Isabel xx

  19. Sending positive energy your way, Rebecca! I hope this exhaustion resolves itself in short order. Until then relax and as a friend always told me when I was unwell, “Do what you can and let go of the rest.”

    Best regards,


  20. Sorry to hear your recovery is slow. I had a similar experience a few years ago, nothing to be done but rest and be kind to yourself. Glad to hear you have family and friends to buoy you up on the tides of fatigue. Jxx

  21. Best wishes to you as you continue to heal. I’ve been enjoying your thoughtful blog for several years from Canada. Take care!

  22. Ah Rebecca, may an ocean of self-compassion sustain you and buoy you up as you navigate this unexpected journey. May the vulnerabilities of these times connect you more deeply to yourself, your family, your friends, your world and help you discover new shores, new perspectives and much kindness.

  23. You are too lovely not to wait for.

    As you can see from the comments above and (I’m sure) the ones that will come. One less worry is who will be here to read and share with you. A gentle healing to you.

  24. Take all the time you need, hopefully you will feel the waves of care and concern from those of us thousands of miles away, w e feel deeply for you. Rest and recover and when you can we shall be delighted to hear from you.

  25. I’m so sorry. It sounds like such a tough thing to deal with, I hope that your health returns to you.
    Take care,

  26. Ah, this is miserable news. I’m so sorry to hear it. Here’s hoping you are on the mend. Slow but steady stays the course, as the expression goes?

  27. So sorry you are still feeling so tired. And disappointing to put your studies on pause. Wishing you lots of restorative rest.

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